Section 2 - Replacement Responses to Actions that Do Nothing
[One of the unusual qualities of this game is the fact that the player is a parrot, so we need to systematically replace default library answers that would be inappropriate, and supply ones that work more effectively with the current scenario.]
Instead of taking inventory:
say "You are holding onto your perch with both claws."
Instead of going nowhere: say "You can't escape your perch.".
Instead of buying something: say "Commerce is beneath you."
Instead of kissing someone: say "Alas, you have no lips."
Instead of singing: say "You're not one of those intolerable songbirds."
Instead of listening: say "You keep your beak shut and attend to the conversation."
Instead of jumping: say "You hop gracefully down to the other end of the perch."
Understand "flap" or "flap wings" as waving hands.
Instead of waving or waving hands: say "You flap one wing uselessly."
Instead of climbing: say "You have already reached the most comfortable position in the room."
Instead of thinking:
say "Related ideas flit through your brain: [list of subjects suggested by the current subject]."
Instead of drinking: say "Sadly, no one has thought to provide you with your water dish."
Instead of tying something to something: say "An activity too complicated for you to manipulate yourself."
Instead of sleeping: say "You have had a full eighteen hours of sleep, and are refreshed at the moment."
Instead of waking up: say "You are fully alert."
Instead of burning or cutting something: say "You leave these sorts of tool-wielding behavior to the descendants of primates."
Instead of tasting or eating the player: say "Ah, the urban air has begun to unravel your wits." Instead of tasting or eating something: say "[The noun] does not look like it is made of candied almond, so there's no point."